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20121101
20121130
Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)
will be joining us on the show. [cheering and applause] and then tomorrow night it's president barack obama. but still... [laughter] these people get to... [cheering and applause] nate silver, the president of statistician-stan. as you know, last night the presidential cam pan headed to hofstra university where the candidates debated from a diverse crowd hard of long islanders ranging from italian guys to other italian guys to a jewish guy and his mom. [laughter] such diversity in long island. the first question somehow ended up on the auto industry rescue. >> i know you keep saying, you want to take detroit bankrupt. well, the president took detroit bankrupt. you took general motors bankrupt. you took chrysler bankrupt. that was pre-sizely what i recommended and ultimately what happened. >> jon: okay. in fact, obama's publicly financed detroit auto industry managed bankruptcy is not precisely what romney recommended. romney precisely recommended private credit, which at the time was to be precise non-existent. meaning under his plan detroit's bankruptcy would have been unmanaged and quite
for tuning in. we are on on a friday night t is very unusual for us. and i'm-- let's just-- here's the-- i'm the-- here's the fact. this has been a long week. we are on the road, away from our families, the people here in tampa have been very nice, very hospitable, but let's face facts. it is hotter than a gorilla's anus. (laughter) (applause) >> jon: although, to be fair to gorillas-- (laughter) -- that is a dry heat. (applause) the worst part of this town-- the worst part of this town, you can't even sit down to take a break from the unrelenting heat because the moment you form any kind of lap in the tampa-st. pete area, you are set upon by those who seek to dance upon said lap. (cheers and applause) >> jon: do you know-- do you know how hard it is to get money down in tampa that does not have body glitter on it? (laughter) i was admittedly a little down last night, from being here this whole week, a little disspirited. and then-- no, no-- and then it happened. yes! amidst the tired rhetoric, empty platitudes and overwrought attacks, a fistful of awesome! (laughter) emerged in the night
>> stephen: thank you for joining us. thank you, nation. ( crowd chanting ) ( crowd cheering ) >> stephen: i've got to tell you, with an ovation like that, you make me almost wish i stayed in this race. ( laughter ) folks, our top story tonight, it is my mother's birthday. and the "colbert report" can now project that lorna colbert is 92 years old. happy birthday, mom. of course there is one other story tonight. our continuing coverage of the 2012 election. excitement in the air is palpable and, folks, i cannot wait to palp it. tonight, we are live. ( crowd cheering ) >> stephen: thank you. okay, i'm sorry. jimmy, can we retake that, please? >> we can't, we're live. >> stephen: oh, we really are live. i thought i was just duping these rubes. lets cut out that part where i called these mouth breathers rubes. now let's get straight to our coverage. it is 11:33 eastern time on election night. at this point, the election is too close to call. anything can happen. romney could win, obama could win, and that's it. those two. but it could be a very long night and we will be live for
personally voted for mitt romney. so it's that single tweet is any indication, jon, get used to saying president romney because he's going to win tonight in a landslide. >> jon: that's fascinating. >> that just happened jon moments ago and i'm explaining it to you now in real time. this is only a start. the election center has full capabilities through a protest we call cross screen transferability which allows us to recontexturallize our real time info for monitorrization. jon, there's no denying that is now physically bigger, you can't deny that. [laughter] >> jon: it is bigger and appears to be somewhat useless. >> i'm not even done, jon. watch this. i found click, boom. okay, real time insta instagram. it doesn't even stop. i just tweak it again while simultaneously posting that image. so if you go to one of those places you can see this image, the one dwreur you'r you're seew here later somewhere else. don't tell me it's alive and kicking my friend. i will be here all night. [crowd cheering] >> jon: we've got an awful lot. we'll check back in with john oliver. the combination o
laugh in television to my mind, judge andrew napolitano will be joining us right over here. first, i want to let you people know i am a jew who is in to politics. ( cheers and applause ). been doing the show 15 years now. ( laughter ) speaking of which, ooh, i think we have a new middle east war brewing out there. that's late-breaking news. we'll have to deal with that when we get back. what's better than a middle east war. let's begin one more from the "where are they now?." you may remember mitt romney made a rather infamous statement that 47% of the country would not vote for him because they saw himself as victims, entitled-- housing, health care, from the government. as it turns out, much to his disappointment, barack obama was able to pick up four more percent of real america giving him the victory. of course romney walked back his 47% statement. >> in this case i said something that was just completely wrong, and i absolutely believe, however, that my life has shown that i care about 100%, and-- and that's been demonstrated throughout my life. >> jon: i believe him. ( laugh
to convince the candidates need to be court and women have rational creatures and men use just this organ here. the one i'm pointed too. [laughter] >> jon: for women life is just one big turnon, turn off, playboy questionnaire? >> that's what we use in place of resumes. we all fill them out when we turn 18 whether you get chosen to pose or not. >> jon: it seems like if that's the case it would be impossible to have a spirited debate. >> that's ridiculous you just need to be smarter about the staging. yes. [laughter] sh%mm that is a debate a lady >> jon: welcome back. tonight he's currently the president of these united states. please welcome back to the program, president barack obama. [cheers and applause] >> how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? good to see everybody. good to see you. >> jon: how are you? >> i'm doing great. before i do anything else i have to acknowledge we have amazing women warriors. we have a whole crew of veterans, i had nothing to do with this. the uso wanted to bring them here and a want everybody to give them a big round of applause. >> i do want to ask you this. i
into a great depression. let's make sure we are cutting out those things that are not helping us grow. 18 programs are-- medical fraud in medicare, cut a trillion dollars out of our discretionary domestic budget. the specifically specific $4 trillion deficit reduction plan t is on the web site. you can look at all the numbers. let me just finish this point because are you looking for contrast. >> way over two minutes. >> sorry (laughter) >> jon: you went over your time? and you somehow managed in all that overtime to not turn and look your opponent in the lie and just mention what he said was untrue? not even a quick sneeze before your answer, no need to be coy, let me see if i can come up with a two minute answer that might have been more effective. liar! lie, lie, liar, lie, lie, liar, lie, lie, lie, lie, liar. lie romney lie! romney lie, lie. your time is up. >> shot your fat pie hole lehrer. optimism he-- i'm account command never chief, i don't take orders from tote bag johnnie. lie, lie, lie. what did you think lehrer was going bail you out. hold romney's feet to the fire. lehrer sp
Search Results 0 to 15 of about 16 (some duplicates have been removed)